Our country is going through a very difficult time following the tragic loss of life in Newtown, CT. There are many unanswered questions, many thoughts on how to prevent future tragedies, many people deeply feeling the loss. In times like these, it's even more important to have strategies to get through the heartache while helping others to do the same.
Here are my top positive strategies from my Power of Positivity seminar/ CD for a more positive life adapted for this December 2012. They are designed for every day life challenges but certainly can be applied to tough times. Although they seem very simple, they work - for people of all ages. Give them a try. And please feel free to pass them along to anyone who might benefit.
1. Pay attention to the kind of things you're thinking and saying. Negative/sad/fearful thoughts cause an emotional response in our bodies that sends hormones like cortisol and andrenaline to our cells. This is not the best scenario for staying healthy. With so many thoughts a day (60,000), how do we pay attention to them? Just start being aware. Here's how we did it in my Strategies for Success classroom. Put out a jar at your home/office/classroom. Every time someone says something negative, have them put a penny in the jar. Donate the money to a favorite charity. This simple awareness brings about remarkable changes.
2. Stop looking for reasons to be offended - Dr. Wayne Dyer. If we think the world revolves around us, we'll constantly be insulted, annoyed and anxious - because it doesn't. When someone says or does something that starts to offend you, ask yourself, "What else could it mean?" You'll be surprised by how many non-stressful answers you'll come up with including the one that's probably true!
3. Choose kindness over being right - another great quote from Dr. Dyer. If you have to be right, that makes everyone around you wrong. And who wants to be with someone who makes them feel that way?
4. Stop the BJC's - blaming, justifying, complaining. Take responsibility for your life - even the small things - and choose to learn from tough experiences rather than BJC'ing.
5. Keep complaining to a minimum. I heard someone say "Are you complaining because your life is bad, or is your life bad because you're complaining all the time?" Best way to monitor your own complaining is to get a wrist band from A Complaint Free World. Wear it on one wrist. Every time you complain, switch wrists. Try to wear it on one wrist for 30 days.
6. Minimize exposure to negative news. We all need to be informed, but don't watch/listen 24/7. We need balance. Too much negative news even provided with the best intent can put us over the tipping point. Same goes from trashy and violent media. There is nothing in those that makes us better as humans. If we want a more positive world, we need to minimize these negative influences. If we don't support them, they go out of business. Remember, our kids are watching and modeling everything we do.
7. Do something for someone else - taking positive action immediately makes you feel better. And nothing feels better than helping someone else. Takes us away from our own problems and makes someone else's life better. Who can I help is one of the best questions you can ask yourself.
8. Go out of your way to make people's day - not only will they feel better, but so will you. Dr. Wayne Dyer found out that doing an act of kindness adds seratonin and a boost of immunity to the brain of someone who receives an act of kindness, one who does the act of kindness - and here's the really cool part - anyone who witnesses the act of kindness.
Not sure what to do? Give a Thank a Shining Star card to someone who does a great job with a great attitude. Get your cards (first batch is free) at www.ThankAShiningStar.com
9. If you're having difficulty processing the news or other issues of your life, get help. Don't be afraid or ashamed. If you had a broken bone, you'd fix it. Same thing. Reach out. There are people to catch you. It it's something less serious, give yourself a chance to vent with a friend/relative and then do your best to let whatever it is go. Talking about something over and over again makes your body feel like it's still happening - and all the stress hormones come rushing back out. Give your mind and your body a break.
10. Step away from technology a bit and connect for real. Maybe make Sundays a no-tech day. Instead make it an in-person day with friends and family. We humans need to be connected in real life - not just by text or tweet.
11. Add some nature in - if you're stressed, go barefoot on the grass for a few minutes (not sure why this works but it does). If you're in a cold weather climate, find other ways to enjoy nature. For me, it's seeing the water... always makes me feel better.
12. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. Research says that fear/anger/stress cannot live in your brain at the same time as gratitude. Any time you're feeling those emotions, switch to what you're grateful for. Be on the lookout all day for things you're grateful for so that you can write down at least 3 every night. We tend to find what we're looking for (except those keys!) so be on the prowl for things that make your day. And if you're looking for what's good... you'll have less time to find the things that aren't.
They say that the world ends on December 21, 2012. Let's modify that...let's make that the end of the world as we know it...and the beginning of a more connected and kind one. All we need to do is decide...to be a little more positive, more joyful and more considerate than we were the day before. It's really that easy.
Marianne Douglas
(Marianne@MarianneDouglas.com)
